Chapter 10: Fire in the Sky

Middle of the night.

When the others had gone to sleep, Sadie Crane alone rose up from under their blanket. Of course they knew how to be quiet. What else was there to do in the starry gray night? At university in Perant, they used to sneak out of the student home every other night. They didn't need to, just like they didn't need to sneak out of their house but did anyway. For the thrill.

They came to their bow and quiver, stopped for all of a moment, then took both. One did not mess around when it came to red walkers. One was prepared or they died.

Big Tree. He had a name. He was, mere weeks prior, as human as they were. His affliction didn't change that. Such things were beyond even Mother Gaia Herself.

This was not a job for a seer. For a weaver perhaps, like Black Sparrow. They had low hopes of coming upon this man and dragging him back to the house. To take him by surprise would be a feat in itself, a plan quickly stowed. They no longer wished to be a non-actor in this tragedy. They must do what they could. And what they could do was track. What they could do was hike up a mountain.

They began from where the red walker killed most of the hunting party, blood still fresh upon the soil.

"Okay, where the fuck are you?" they asked of no one.

The trail came to a stop at a cave up the mountain. The hike took about forty minutes.

They touched the conjure bag around their throat, praying to Mother Gaia and Sarai for protection. And just to make sure, they also prayed to De'afi's serpent goddesses I'lli and O'lli.

They emerged into the cave without preamble, holding the lantern in their left fist and the knife in their right. Perhaps Viola was right. How else could they explain what they were doing, other than an errant call to the void?

They observed many small drawings, those done by children, patterned along the interior walls. An anxious feeling stirred within them, following their light to where the drawings, mostly of animals and stick figure people, terminated upon the low ceiling. This had once been a place of mirth, of family togethering, of play even. Had Big Tree and Runner come here once, on a day when Runner's illness didn't lock them into bed, at least for a while? Or had Big Tree come alone to look at the patterns and sigh in his melancholy way, knowing his child would never draw upon the walls as others had done for who can know how many moons?

Moonlight spilled inside. They planned to be finished in fifteen minutes, less if Big Tree could be reasoned with.

Big Tree sat other end of that long cavern, cross-legged on the floor as if meditating or praying. He resembled a statue or a clay idol of some design. But even from where they stood, Sadie Crane could see the dried blood upon his lips and naked light brown chest. His throat appeared to have been slit long ago, a dull line wiring the length of his neck.

Sadie Crane, their every bone a fool, stepped closer to the person who could tear them to shreds in a blink. Chills ran up their spine, as if Sybil dumped a bucket of cold water over their head as a joke. He often did such things when they were children, especially when they bathed together in the yard after last meal of the day. They got him back for it every time.

They said out loud a prayer to Sarai, to Mother Gaia, and to whatever other god might be watching. They had never witnessed such a manner of beast.

Big Tree didn't move. His long braids had come undone over his shoulders and back, loosing coils of dark hair.

"Hello," he said.

His voice was raspy, like scraps of vellum paper rubbing against one another. Sadie Crane was reminded of the old texts She Follows carted around.

"Hello," they said back.

They carded through their head, trying to find something, anything, they could say. How did one get through to a red walker?

A thought began to creep up on them. And once it started, there was no bringing it to heel. How would their guardians feel if they were to disappear this night? Would Adel and White Doe not cry for them? Would Black Sparrow not blame herself harder than anyone else? Would She Follows not retreat further into research and reason? And that was to say nothing of Viola and De'afi. Even Oanna might break her vow of vengeance.

"You know my mama and my auntie, right?" they said. "And my papa? And my other guardian, She Follows?"

Big Tree stared at them for several moments, then nodded his head. Yes, of course he knew of Sadie Crane. Adel talked of them extensively.

"Then you know I'm not here to hurt you," Sadie Crane said. "I came to--talk, I guess."

They went deeper into the cave, closer to Big Tree. As a show of trust.

"I'm on your side," they said. "Not with that big fire in the sky or the folks that want you dead."

They took more steps into the cave. Big Tree didn't move. They thanked the conjure bag around their neck for protecting them.

"I don't care about what you did," they said. "We all did things. My best friend's dead cuz of me. That makes me a murderer. Leastways that's how they treat me."

They threw their head laughing.

"Same shit, you and me," they said. "You got something inside that's twisting you all up, I got something inside that's twisting me all up. Partners in crime. For all time."

They laughed again, as if this was the funniest thing they'd ever said.

"Lotta folks want me dead too," they went on. "Not like they want you dead, but close enough I had to get my ass outta town. Feeling like somebody's gonna smash my head in if I stay, you know? All think I'm a fucking killer cuz of what I am. Maybe I am. Maybe that's the big truth I been running from all these years."

Big Tree made a noise Sadie Crane couldn't quite make sense of. They decided not to try.

"At least you're saveable," they shrugged. "I'm kinda jealous. Always gonna be, of folks who get second chances."

Big Tree spoke finally, in his rasp.

"Second chances, no," he said. "Not for me."

"Aw come on," Sadie Crane forced a laugh. "I know you're not, like, gone. Like dead gone."

Tears filled up their eyes.

"I know this isn't all you are cuz that's not all I am," they said. "You get it, right? Shit, you--"

They reached into their bag slung clumsily over their shoulder. From the bag they extracted what a bracelet fashioned of small red gemstones and white beads. A gorgeous undertaking by small hands.

They took it from Big Tree's house before they left. Adel asked them many questions, but they silenced him with a hug and promised to return with Big Tree before the sun was up. He did not try to stop them. He never tried to stop White Doe or Sadie Crane from doing what made them happiest. And what made them happiest was living on a cliff's edge.

Big Tree's breath was at once trapped in his throat.

They held out the bracelet, knowing he could not come near while they wore that conjure bag.

"You remember them?" Sadie Crane said. "Your kid? About four? Kid you ran away from?"

Big Tree took a step forward, but only a step.

"I get it," they reassured. "For real, I'm the last person that's gonna--you think I'm gonna try and make you feel bad? Like everybody's been doing to me? We all gotta make bad decisions. Leastways you can say the thing in you made you do it, right?"

Big Tree reached his palm out, demanding.

The bracelet passed quickly from their fingers to his. They did not balk or flinch or yell at the contact. His fingers were those of a basket weaver, blood caked under his short nails.

He seemed taken aback. The proximity offered comfort. He did not deserve comforts, having taken himself and fled from his own cruel deeds. Sadie Crane was correct. He could have stayed and pleaded his case, yet the bad spirit inside his chest had given him no choice in the matter. He ached with the guilt of it, resolving himself to whatever fate the hunters visited upon him. He'd surely kill more of them in the process, but at least A Ship Without a Sea would have her revenge.

He closed his hand over the bracelet. Runner made it for him. It took them a week and then another to finish. He didn't know where the gemstones came from. He got them off a merchant at the day market. They cost him four rabbit pelts. He assumed at the time they must be rare, but he'd come to believe their value came in another form.

"Not the same," he whispered.

Sadie Crane looked him in the eye, a touch of pleading in their voice.

"We are," they insisted.

He walked forward suddenly, making them step back. He was a head taller, skinnier, built for softer things. Bad spirits slipped in through cracks, through a weakness in one's resolve. They fed on guilt and fear.

"My first child," he said. "They died when they were born. My fault. I shouldn't have been out that day."

"It wasn't your fault," Sadie Crane insisted.

"It was," he assured them.

He made slow to the cave entrance. The sun had just begun to show Her face. The hunters would soon wake, eat, strap on their bows, and prepare for battle. He would not survive, no matter how many he killed. He would fight the part of himself that wanted to live even if it meant countless others would die.

"Finally finally," he whispered.

He stepped out into the burgeoning light. And began to scream. And began to burn.

End of Part 1